I hope you enjoy this free science fiction short story, which is the most recent addition to the Carrie Hatchett’s Christmas stories. Carrie Hatchett, Space Adventurer is a complete, five-book humorous science fiction series. You can find out more about the series here.

Carrie Hatchett’s Christmas in Oz

Carrie turned out the lights at Carrie Hatchett Enterprises and locked the entrance door. Though it was only five o’ clock in the afternoon it was already pitch dark. As she crossed the car park, sleet began to fall. The ice coating the pavements had melted in the meagre midday heat and frozen again, making walking a risky business.

A few icy drops somehow avoided the turned-up collar of Carrie’s coat and made their way down the back of her neck. She wriggled and gave a shudder, thankful that Dave was waiting for her in his car with the engine running.

She could see him through the steamed-up window, fiddling with his phone. Good old Dave. What would she do without her bestie? Many was the time he’d saved her from one scrape or another while they worked in their secret second jobs as Transgalactic Intercultural Community Crisis Liaison Officers.

As if he could sense Carrie thinking about him, Dave lifted his head to look at her. At the same time, Carrie’s heel slipped on a patch of ice. “Whoaaahhh!” She came down hard, but luckily she hit the pavement with the part of her body that had the most padding. Her pride was more hurt than anything else.

Carrie scrambled to her feet. More sleet infiltrated the neck of her coat. Dave peered at her for a moment as if to satisfy himself she was okay before shaking his head and returning his attention to his phone.

All kind thoughts about her friend evaporating, Carrie stomped her way—carefully—across the remaining distance to Dave’s car and wrenched open the door. The cloud of warm air that greeted her failed to thaw the new frostiness in her heart. She sat in the passenger seat, fastened her seat belt and folded her arms.

“Everything locked up?” asked Dave. “All ready for the Christmas break?”

“Yes,” Carrie replied. “The place is sealed tight and I activated the alarm.”

“Great. Let’s go then.” Dave started the engine and pulled out into the road.

When her pointed silence failed to elicit a reaction, Carrie said, “Didn’t you see me fall down just then?”

“I did. Those four rum and Cokes at the office party really did you in, didn’t they?”

“What? You think I’m drunk and that’s why I fell over? It’s like a skating rink out there.”

“Yeah, but face it, Carrie, the booze probably didn’t help.”

The best reply she could muster was, “Hmpf.” Carrie gazed out the window at the quiet roads of the industrial estate. It was Christmas Eve and the entire place had shut down for the holidays. Carrie guessed that Dave and she were probably the last to leave. It was her fault. She’d insisted on sending the cleaning staff home after the party, saying she would do the tidying up. Dave had helped, despite telling her she was the weirdest company owner he’d ever known. In fact, he’d tidied up much better than she had, finding plastic cups in unpredictable places and taking down the decorations.

Now that she thought about it, she did feel kind of woozy. Perhaps it wasn’t only the ice that was to blame for her fall. Carrie’s irritation with her friend began to fade. As well as possibly being a little tipsy, she realized she was in somewhat of a bad mood. The Christmas party had been fun, but the spectre of another seasonal break spent working at her second job hung over her.

“You know,” she said, “I can’t believe we have to save Earth again at Christmas. I mean, why is it that aliens always seem to want to invade at this time of year? It isn’t even as if the weather is nice. If I wanted to take over another planet I’d do it during summer. Wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Dave replied. “I would. I heard nice weather makes all the difference for a successful invasion.” He paused before shaking his head. “It is odd, but that’s aliens for you. I wouldn’t mind sitting down to Christmas dinner then putting up my feet to watch Die Hard just for a change. That would be much better than the same old saving the planet crap. Still, not a lot we can do about it. Have you decided what you’re going to tell Flux?”

Carrie groaned. “No. He can’t seem to understand he can’t leave the house. I know he must feel cooped up but if he really is on the run like he says, what can he expect? I daren’t let him out. It’s a shame but it looks like he’ll be spending Christmas looking after Rogue and Toodles again.”

Dave pulled up outside Carrie’s house. A frost-laden breeze chilled her the moment she opened the car door. The wind seemed to chase her across her frozen lawn and into her home.

Rogue’s ecstatic joy at her appearance hadn’t dissipated one jot over the years. After several half-hearted admonitions from Carrie, her dog finally sat obediently, his tail a happy blur. Toodles was also pleased to see her and left many hairy tokens of her love on Carrie’s black trousers as she brushed up against them.

Flux was perched on the banister knob, glaring. His semi-transparent wings were wrapped around his body. Though he could speak, at that moment he chose not to. Instead, he turned his head pointedly to one side.

Carrie’s boss, Gavin, had already arrived.

The gigantic golden insectoid alien Transgalatic Council manager took up most of the space in Carrie’s living room. He smelt faintly of vanilla and cinnamon, probably because he’d been talking to himself while he waited. Carrie appreciated the free seasonal home fragrance all the same. Scented Christmas candles were pricey.

“Ah, you are here at last,” said Gavin. “Please do come in and sit down. I do not have much time in which to brief you.”

Carrie took off her coat, unwound her scarf and took off her hat. Usually, she would hang her outdoor clothes over the banister but Flux was in the way. He glared at her when she approached him, as if daring her to try. She placed her things on the stairs and walked into her living room. She squeezed past Gavin and joined Dave, who was already sitting on the sofa.

“We have detected the illegal operation of a transgalactic gateway on Earth,” said Gavin, getting straight to the point. “Therefore the Council fears that non-humans have come here for as-yet unknown reasons. We would like you to track them down and remove them before they alarm the local population or perhaps do something more dangerous.”

“Plus ça change,” said Carrie, yawning.

“What?” Dave asked.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose,” said Carrie. “Didn’t you ever hear that before? Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Carr. The more things change, the more everything stays the same. It’s a comment on the fundamental immutability of human nature. Or in this case, aliens. Keep up, Dave.”

Carrie was aware that her pub quiz knowledge was as useless as it was vast, yet occasionally she couldn’t resist the opportunity to apply it.

Dave rolled his eyes and Carrie chuckled.

“Don’t you have anyone else to do this, Gavin?” she asked. “Surely there are other Liaison Officers who could help? It is Christmas after all and we have to do this every year!”

“Well, perhaps I might be able to find someone who is willing to go to Australia at short notice,” Gavin replied. “Let me check.”

“What?” Carrie said. “Wait! Did you say Australia?”

Gavin didn’t reply. He was speaking with someone telepathically.

Carrie turned to Dave. “Did he say Australia?”

“Yes, he did,” Dave replied grumpily.

“We’ll do it,” Carrie exclaimed. “Gavin, I said we’ll do it… Gavin!”

But the massive insectoid’s head had turned to one side. The manager was deep in silent conversation.

Carrie jumped up and grabbed Gavin’s antennae. She wanted to shout into one of his ears but she didn’t know where they were. So she leaned her face close to one of his compound eyes. “We want to go to Australia.”

“Oh, er… ” Gavin’s head reverted to its usual orientation. “You changed your minds? Very good.”

Carrie flopped onto the sofa and put her hands behind her head. “Ah, I can imagine it now. Warm weather, beautiful beaches, hunky Australian men.”

“Don’t forget we’ll have a job to do, Carrie,” Dave said.

She waved a hand airily. “All we have to do is find the aliens. How hard can it be? I mean, they don’t exactly blend in, do they?”

“I am afraid you must travel to Australia via public transportation,” Gavin said. “We are monitoring transgalactic gateway use in case the trespassers employ the technology again. We don’t want anything to confuse the trace.”

“Ugh, we have to fly there?” Carrie complained. “But that’ll take hours.”

“At least twenty-four of them as I understand it,” said Dave. “Shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Twenty-four hours squeezed into a tiny little seat in a metal can thirty thousand feet up in the air?” said Carrie. “It certainly sounds bad to me. Maybe we shouldn’t go after all.”

“Come on,” Dave said. “You’ve spent plenty of time aboard starships where you’re considerably farther above the surface of a planet than thirty thousand feet.”

“Yes, but you can move around in a starship.” Carrie turned to Gavin. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance we could go first class?”

“I am very sorry,” Gavin replied. “Recent cutbacks in funding mean the budget for intraplanetary travel is limited to economy tickets only.”

“Bummer,” said Carrie.

Flux fluttered into the room and landed on Carrie’s head, where he dug in his clawed toes, more tightly than she felt was warranted.

“Did I hear someone say we’re going to Australia?” he asked in his high-pitched voice. “Fantastic. I’ve never been to Australia.”

“You haven’t been anywhere on Earth,” Carrie said. “In fact, apart from a few nighttime flights around the neighbourhood, you haven’t left the area. And it’s a good job too. If anyone caught you you’d be in some scientist’s laboratory before you could say ‘Bob’s your uncle’, and probably undergoing an autopsy if you were particularly unlucky. So I’m sorry but you can’t come to Australia.”

Flux, who looked something like a cross between a sugar glider and a bat, dug his toes in harder and launched himself into flight. As he circled the room he said, “I knew you’d say that, but I don’t care. I’m fed up with hiding away indoors all the time. I am going to Australia and you aren’t going to stop me.”

He exited into the kitchen.

Carrie gave a deep sigh. She was used to histrionics from her temperamental long-term guest. Ever since Dave had brought Flux into Carrie’s home from another planet as a Christmas offering, the strange flying alien had been entertaining but also extremely vexing. He wasn’t a pet and he didn’t behave like one. Carrie often felt like she was providing free bed and board to a difficult lodger. Yet she also didn’t feel it would be right to make him leave. According to the various hints he’d dropped, Flux was wanted by law enforcement on his home planet, so he was hiding out on Earth until things ‘cooled down’ at home.

“I’m not going to worry,” said Carrie. “He probably has no idea where Australia is or how long it takes to get there.”

“Yes, I do,” came a squeaky voice from the kitchen.

“Anyway,” Carrie continued. “If this case is so urgent, and we have to spend an entire day just flying there, I’d better go and pack.

***

Carrie woke from a deep and comfortable slumber. She felt great, as though she’d had her best sleep in ages. She sat up, yawned and stretched. One of her hands met a hard, cold window and the other punched something suspiciously similar to a man’s chest. Carrie could also hear a low, throbbing hum that was out of place in her bedroom.

As her true surroundings penetrated her muddled mind, Carrie remembered she was aboard a flight to Australia and on an assignment for the Transgalactic Council.

She stretched again and blinked. In front of her was a seatback entertainment screen, and Dave was sitting next to her. “I’ve had the most marvellous sleep,” she said. Then she noticed Dave clenching his jaw in the way he did when something had annoyed him. It was usually some inconsequential, irrelevant nonsense that was bothering him but Carrie tolerated this strange quirk in her bestie’s character.

“Hooray,” Dave said. “I’m pleased for you. Really.”

Then Carrie saw what Dave was annoyed about. He’d accidentally drooled on his nice new Christmas sweater. How embarrassing. Or maybe that wasn’t the problem. Carrie decided she’d better tell him in case he hadn’t noticed. Dave was very particular about his clothes.

“Hey,” she said, “did you know you’ve got something on your jumper? It isn’t really noticeable,” she added, although it was. She was just trying to be kind. “But maybe you should go and wash it off anyway. How long have we been flying?”

“Twelve hours,” Dave replied through his teeth.

“Twelve hours?” Carrie asked, amazed. “The last thing I remember is reading the in-flight magazine as we were taking off.”

“Yeah,” Dave said. “You put it back in the pocket and then you fell asleep. On me. Twelve hours ago.”

“That’s great,” exclaimed Carrie. “I’ve already slept through half the flight! I feel wonderful. This assignment is looking better already.” She leaned in to whisper in Dave’s ear, “I really would go and clean up your sweater though. I hate to say it, but it looks like someone’s been dribbling on it.”

Carrie picked up the in-flight magazine to check what films were available, absently wiping the corner of her mouth. When she couldn’t see any films she wanted to watch, she said to Dave, “Did you get some sleep too?”

“No, because… Oh, never mind.” He stretched and rubbed his eyes. “I’ve never been able to sleep on flights.”

“But we still have a long way to go. Maybe you should try. You can rest your head on my shoulder if you like.”

Dave, who was a head taller than Carrie, looked down at her shoulder. “Thanks for the offer but I don’t think I’d be very comfortable.”

“Well let me know if you change your mind.” Carrie relaxed in her seat and looked out the window. “What was that?” She sat bolt upright. She’d seen something sitting on the plane’s wing.

“What?” asked Dave.

Carrie looked closer. The wing was empty. Had she been imagining things? She’d only just woken up after all. “It’s okay. It’s nothing.”

“Are you hungry?” Dave asked. “They’re starting to serve lunch.”

“Ugh, no, I couldn’t eat a thing. You have mine.” Carrie found her headphones, plugged them in and turned the channel to relaxing music.

Dave took both their meals from the flight attendant and place Carrie’s on her tray. “Do you want some wine?”

“Oh yes. That would be lovely.”

Dave took the small bottle and plastic beaker and also put them down in front of Carrie. He turned his attention to his meal.

Carrie sipped her wine and listened to the music. The flight to Australia was turning out to be much more pleasant than she’d imagined. Her gaze drifted back to the wing. Carrie jumped in surprise, sending her bottle of wine, full plastic beaker and lunch tray flying.

Flux was sitting on the wing, and not only that, he was waving at her!

“Carrie!” Her wine and lunch had gone all over Dave.

“Flux!” she exclaimed. “It’s Flux. Look!”

Dave glanced up from picking her food off his sweater. But when Carrie pointed out the window, the wing was empty.

“He was there. I swear it.”

“How could Flux be out there?” Dave asked, looking deeply irritated. “He can’t escape your house, and even if he could, how could he possibly fly as fast as a passenger jet? How much of that wine did you drink?”

“I’m not drunk. I had about two sips. I don’t know how Flux managed to catch up to us and sit on the wing, but I definitely saw him.”

But Dave only shook his head and continued to clean himself up. Carrie pressed her face against the window, searching all around the plane’s exterior as far as she could see for signs of the annoying alien. Had she imagined him? She’d been so certain she’d seen him, but what Dave had said was true. Flux couldn’t possibly have been sitting on the wing of a jet aeroplane. The idea was preposterous. And yet….

Carrie closed the window shutter and helped Dave to clean up. When they’d managed to remove most of the food and drink stains, she said, “I’m going to check to see if Gavin’s sent us any more information on this alien we’re supposed to be catching.” She pulled her Transgalactic Intercultural Community Crisis Liaison Officer toolkit—which looked exactly like an expensive designer handbag—from beneath the seat in front of her and took out the translator. The device also functioned as a communicator and data display screen.

“Hmm… ” she said. “He says the trace they’ve narrowed down the origin of the trace the Council picked up to just outside Melbourne Zoo. Makes sense.”

“Why?” Dave asked as he returned two lunch trays full of mess and dirty napkins to the flight assistant.

“Aliens don’t look like us, do they?” asked Carrie. “Except the dandrobians of course. If you don’t look like the local sentient species, the best place to go would be somewhere you could be mistaken for an unusual animal, wouldn’t you say? I don’t think this case is going to be too hard to crack. We only have to go to the zoo, find the alien, capture it, and ask Gavin to open a gateway to send it back where it belongs. Then we can enjoy a few days in the glorious Australian sun. This Christmas assignment is going to be our best ever.”

***

They arrived at Tullamarine airport at close to midnight. Carrie had begun to nod off again and Dave was watching a film. He tutted and took off his headphones as the film was interrupted by the pilot’s announcement that they were about to land.

Next came the chief flight attendant’s instructions. Carrie straightened her seat back and pushed down her armrest as requested. Then she opened her window shutter. There was Flux, looking in at her and grinning, exposing his pointy little teeth.

Carrie screamed with shock.

“Carrie!” Dave exclaimed.

All the passengers were looking at her like she was mad. An exasperated flight attendant hurried over. “Is there a problem, madam?”

“There’s…there’s….” Carrie’s window was empty again, of course. She mentally cursed her long-term houseguest. She wasn’t going to let him get away with this. “No, everything’s fine. I was just having a nightmare. Sorry.”

Only barely mollified, the flight attendant left.

“He was there,” Carrie hissed at Dave, who was scowling. “I swear it. When I see him, I’m going to…to….”

“Why don’t you decide that when you see him?” Dave suggested. “If you see him,” he added under his breath.

There was no sign of Flux when they disembarked, but Carrie couldn’t shake the image of his irritating little face framed by the aircraft window. She was positive she hadn’t imagined it.

Dave hadn’t slept the entire flight and fatigue sullied his handsome features as they waited for their luggage under the bright lights of the baggage claim hall. Carrie hoped that a good night’s sleep would set him to rights. She’d booked separate rooms for them at a Melbourne hotel. Dave was strangely fussy about the tidiness of his surroundings, and in the past when they’d shared a room he’d overreacted to seeing a few of Carrie’s belongings lying around when she hadn’t got around to putting them away.

After collecting their luggage—Dave’s a small, neat hardside case similar to the ones used by cabin crews, and Carrie’s a large, old, overstuffed suitcase—they passed through customs and the arrivals hall, and then walked out of the airport at the taxi rank. Their flight had been the last to land so the queue for taxis was short. They were soon at the front. Dave looked ready to drop. Carrie hoped the journey into the city wouldn’t take very long.

Just as a cab was pulling up, something landed on Carrie’s head. She jumped in surprise. “What the…?” Then she realised the clawed toes digging into her scalp felt very familiar. “I knew it! I knew it! You little scumbag!”

“Flux,” Dave hissed, “what are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to help you with your assignment,” the animal squeaked.

Carrie reached up and her hand encountered a furry, winged body. “You’re hurting me. Would you please get off?”

Flux obliged. He launched himself from Carrie’s head and flew onto the roof of the taxi cab.

“Hey,” shouted the driver, stepping out from his vehicle. “Get your animal off my cab before it scratches the paint.”

Carrie contemplated denying any affiliation to the disobedient beast, but she didn’t want him to become a subject of scientific scrutiny. “Flux, come here.”

The alien took off again, heading in Carrie’s direction. She leaned her head away from his approaching claws. “The shoulder,” she said, pointing for extra clarification. Flux landed where she indicated, though he barely fit in the space. His soft fur pressed up against Carrie’s ear and one of his outstretched wings was half-wrapped around her head.

The taxi driver argued about allowing Flux into his vehicle, and Carrie had to promise that her ‘pet’ was house-trained. If she and Dave hadn’t been the man’s final fare from the airport that night, she doubted that he would have taken them. In the end, he irritably put the suitcases in the boot of his car while Carrie, Dave and Flux climbed into the back seat.

Carrie put her finger to her lips and glared into Flux’s little face while the driver’s back was turned. The intelligent creature took the hint and didn’t speak. Luckily, the taxi driver didn’t seem to be curious about the unusual animal he was carrying in his car.

Carrie emptied out her Liaison Officer toolkit and distributed the contents between her and Dave’s carry-on bags to make room for Flux. There was no way any hotel was going to allow them to check in with a live animal in tow. A silent battle of wills took place as she motioned to Flux that he had to climb into the bag and he mutely shook his head. Carrie mimed opening the car window and putting Flux outside. The threat did the trick, and his pixie, pointy-nosed features scowling, he stepped into Carrie’s bag, folded his wings around himself and lay down. His beady eyes looked up at Carrie’s accusingly as she closed the bag.

They arrived at the place Carrie had booked, checked in, and hurried up to their rooms. Both Carrie and Dave went into Carrie’s room first. As soon as Dave had closed the door, Carrie opened her toolkit.

“Ah, that’s better,” Flux said as he flew out. He completed a circuit of the room before landing on the TV that stood on the chest of drawers. The set wobbled.

“This is more like it,” Flux said. “A proper holiday. I think I’m going to like Australia.”

“No,” said Carrie. “You aren’t going to like Australia because you aren’t going to leave this room! What on Earth do you think you’re doing?”

“More to the point,” said Dave. “How on Earth did you get here? So that really was you outside the window. Sorry I didn’t believe you, Carrie.”

“You spotted me, did you?” Flux asked. “I wasn’t sure.” He flashed a grin. “I had to follow your plane because I wasn’t sure which way to go at first. But when I had an idea of the general direction, I thought I might as well go ahead and wait for you to arrive. I was getting a bit chilly at that altitude.”

“What…? How…?” Carrie spluttered. “Wait. Who’s looking after Rogue and Toodles if you’re here?”

“They’re fine,” said Flux. “No need to worry. I put them in stasis before I left. They won’t—”

“You what?!” Carrie exclaimed. “What are you talking about? You better not have hurt my pets.”

“As if I’d do something like that,” Flux replied. “I told you. They’re in stasis. I’ll take them out as soon as you get back. They won’t even notice you’ve gone. Isn’t that better than them missing you while you’re gone?”

Carrie remained unconvinced.

“Look,” Flux said patiently, as if he was talking to intellectually inferior beings, “I just escaped a locked house and flew halfway around your world faster than one of your aircraft. Don’t you think I might have other hidden talents too?”

“Fair point,” Dave said. “You’ve got to give him that.”

“I suppose so,” Carrie said grudgingly. “But now you’re here, you can’t leave this room, okay? It’s too dangerous. You know that Earth doesn’t belong to the Transgalactic Council yet. Aliens can’t come here. That’s why Dave and I have a job to do tomorrow. Okay?”

Flux opened his little mouth and displayed rows of tiny, needle-sharp teeth. “I’m tired after that long flight. You two must be as well. What do you say we all go to sleep?”

“Flux,” Carrie said sternly, “I want you to agree that you aren’t going to leave this room while we’re in Australia.”

“You mean that after I went to that huge effort all I have to look forward to seeing is a different set of walls?”

“That’s exactly what I mean. It’s for your own good.”

“All right. I promise—”

“Great,” Carrie said.

“…to think about it,” Flux continued. “Now, I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” He tucked his head under one wing and wrapped the other around himself.

Carrie stared at Dave in exasperation.

He shrugged and picked up his bag. “Good night. And good luck.”

***

By the time Carrie awoke, Flux was gone. She checked the bathroom, the cupboards and even behind the curtains, which was Flux’s favourite spot for hiding so he could leap out and make her jump in surprise. The creature was nowhere to be found.

Carrie texted Dave: I don’t suppose the most annoying alien in the galaxy is paying you a visit?

When Dave replied with a negative, Carrie groaned. As if she didn’t have enough to do. Now she had to find the illegal visitor to Earth and her equally illegal pet/house guest/criminal-on-the-run before someone spotted him and carted him off to a lab for dissection. Though in fact she wasn’t too worried about Flux. If he could put other creatures in stasis and fly around the world faster than a passenger plane, she assumed he could look after himself. It was more the political fallout that concerned her. Gavin was a nice boss who turned a blind eye to Flux’s presence on Earth, but if the runaway alien’s presence in her home was known to the wider Council, she couldn’t expect the same benevolent treatment.

But first, before finding Flux or the alien who had opened a transgalactic gateway on Earth, Carrie had to eat. Her long journey of the previous day had left her ravenous. She couldn’t perform her Intergalactic Intercultural Community Crisis Liaison Officer duties on an empty stomach. Besides, she wanted to see what Australians ate for ‘brekkie’.

Carrie met Dave in the hotel’s restaurant and was surprised to see him eating bacon and eggs.

“Morning,” said Dave. “I take it you didn’t find Flux?”

“Nope,” Carrie replied. “The little bugger must have slipped out while I was asleep. Is that all there is to eat?”

Dave looked at his plate. “What were you expecting?”

“I’m not sure. Crocodile steaks or those fat grubs, you know?”

“Carrie, you’re vegetarian. Even if the hotel did serve those things you wouldn’t want to eat them.”

“True, but that’s what I was expecting.”

“I’m pretty sure Australian food isn’t very different from British food.”

“Well, how boring,” said Carrie. She walked over to the buffet and filled a plate. When she returned to their table she said, “Look at this.” Holding out her plate for Dave’s inspection, she added, “Baked beans for goodness’ sake.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Dave replied.

Annoyed at Dave for his failure to share in her disgruntlement about the lack of interesting Australian food, Carrie sat down. She had eaten half of her plate of baked beans, eggs, vegetarian sausages, fried mushrooms, fried tomatoes and potato fritters.

After visiting the breakfast buffet again, she also ate croissants and jam, fresh fruit, muesli and muffins. But no Australian food at all. It was very disappointing. Carrie undid the button of her jeans.

“All done?” Dave asked. “Time’s getting on.”

“I’m going up for one last round,” said Carrie, rising to her feet. “There has to be something Australian to eat. I just haven’t looked hard enough.”

She returned to the buffet table and walked slowly along its length, scanning each offering. She was on the verge of giving up on her quest when she finally spotted something. She returned to Dave in triumph, carrying a plate of toast and a small, rectangular pack of spread.

“Ta-da!” she announced. “I found something Australian.”

“Oh yeah,” Dave said. “Vegemite. I’ve heard of that.”

Carrie sat down and buttered a slice of toast before scraping a thin layer of Vegemite across the surface. She took a bite and chewed. As her jaws worked, her expression transformed from interest to disgust. She put down the slice of toast. All she could think to say was, “Marmite’s nicer.”

“Yeah,” Dave said. “I heard that too. Come on, let’s find this invading alien, and the escaped one.”

After consulting the Melbourne public transportation website, they discovered that they could catch a tram that would take them directly to Melbourne Zoo. They left the hotel, stepping out into the hot Australian sun.

“Well,” said Carrie, putting on her sunglasses as they walked to the tram stop, “this is a bit different from sunset at three-thirty, tramping through dirty slush and scraping ice off the car windscreen every morning.”

“I know,” said Dave. “Isn’t it great? It’s going to be thirty-five degrees today.”

“Fantastic. Let’s try to finish this job as soon as we can, right? Then we’ll have more time to enjoy ourselves.”

“Might be easier said than done,” Dave said.

“Why?” asked Carrie. “It isn’t like we’ve never done this before. We already have the aliens’ rough location. All we have to do is check for reports of a strange creature, follow them up, ferret out the naughty extraterrestrial and send it back wherever it came from. How hard can it be?”

The tram had arrived. They climbed aboard and let it take them to the zoo, where they disembarked.

“Let’s make this quicker by splitting up, okay?” Carrie asked Dave. “As soon as one of us spots an alien, we’ll contact the other one over our mobiles. Better not attempt anything alone. We should try not to alert the alien that it’s been discovered, though. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Dave said. “But remember, just because the gateway opened in this area, it doesn’t mean the alien will be hiding in plain sight in a cage. It could be holed up somewhere else in the zoo.”

“Yeah,” said Carrie. “Good point.”

They parted ways. Carrie headed for the indigenous species area, called Australian Bush, and Dave went towards the zone named Reptiles and World of Frogs after saying that he’d seen a fair few aliens in his time who looked like toads.

Carrie pulled a sunhat out from her Liaison Officer toolkit and slapped it on her head. The sunshine seemed almost harshly bright and strong, especially after months of the weak winter sun in Britain, which often appeared as no more than a slightly lighter patch of grey cloud cover. She couldn’t wait to locate this illegal visitor and send him, her or it packing. Then she would head to the beach and make the most of her Christmas assignment.

She’d reached the Australian Bush section. Carrie peered inside the first enclosure. Her heart leaped. She couldn’t believe her luck. Fumbling in her haste, she grabbed her mobile out of her bag. Calm down, she told herself. She mustn’t make it obvious to the aliens that they’d been spotted. She stepped carefully into a shadowy spot beneath a tall bush.

“Dave,” she whispered urgently when her friend answered his phone, “I’ve found them!”

“No way,” Dave replied. “Already?”

“I know,” Carrie said. “I can hardly believe it myself. But I’m sure it’s them. Weirdest-looking things I ever saw. They’re little, about the size of a squashpump. And spiky, with this little pointy nose. They’re right out in the open, too. Bold as brass. Come over as quickly as you can and we can request a gateway to send them to the Council for questioning.”

“Wait a minute,” Dave said. “You said they’re out in the open. Do you mean they’re walking around among the visitors or in an enclosure?”

“They’re in an enclosure, but not trying to hide away like we thought they would be. They’re walking around the place like they belong there. Right under the keepers’ noses. They certainly have some cheek.”

After a pause at Dave’s end of the conversation, he said, “Carrie, is it possible you’ve mistaken an exhibit for aliens? Did you read the sign?”

“Oh.”

Carrie felt her cheeks begin to burn. Could Dave be right? Had she made a stupid mistake? Carrie left her spot under the bush and returned to the exhibit. A zookeeper was putting feed cakes in the ground, and the ‘aliens’ were waddling over to eat them.

Carrie read the sign on the fence and studied the picture, matching it to the animals she was watching. Her heart sunk. She lifted her mobile to speak to Dave. “They’re called echidnas,” she said heavily. “Apparently, they’re mammals that lay eggs.”

“Never mind,” said Dave. “Easy mistake. I’ve seen some very strange frogs. Keep looking.”

Carrie closed the connection, feeling like a total fool. How come in all her years of pub quizzes, there had never been a question about echidnas?

“Hungry little fellas, ain’t they?” the zookeeper remarked to Carrie.

Perhaps he’d noticed her glum expression. Carrie looked at the man properly for the first time and instantly began to feel much better. Here was one of those hunky Australian men she’d heard about. Tall, well-built, tanned, and extremely handsome, the zookeeper was quite the exhibit himself.

“Yes, they are,” Carrie replied, grinning and feeling giddy. “Do you come here often?” She spluttered and said, “I mean, how often do you feed them?”

“Twice a day,” the keeper replied in his Australian drawl. “Would you like me to show you around and tell you about the animals?”

“I’d love it,” Carrie replied, telling herself that if anyone could to spot an animal that shouldn’t be there, it would be the zookeeper.

The man walked out of the staff entrance at the rear of the enclosure and then reappeared at the side, in the public area.

Carrie peeked at his employee badge, which only displayed his first name, Duane. How Australian, Carrie thought, her stomach giving an excited flutter.

“Are you visiting or have you moved to Melbourne?” Duane asked.

Carrie guessed he’d heard her British accent. “Only visiting, unfortunately…But with a view to moving here permanently.”

“You like it here, then?”

“Oh yes,” Carrie replied, looking up into Duane’s attractive face. “Australia seems wonderful.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great.”

Duane showed her the other animals in the Australian Bush section, They included Tasmanian devils, wombats, koalas and duckbilled platypuses. Carrie recognised some of the creatures but others were new to her. It was lucky that she had Duane with her, she decided. Otherwise she might have made a few more embarrassing calls to Dave.

Duane didn’t go into many details about the animals, but Carrie didn’t mind. It was pleasurable enough just to gaze up at his handsome face as he talked. But then, as Duane was telling her about emus, a movement in the canopy of a small tree behind him distracted her. She spotted something small and winged perched there. Something small, winged and very familiar, waving at her.

Carrie stiffened. If Duane spotted Flux he might think the alien was an escaped exhibit and catch him and lock him up. Would Flux be able to escape one of the zoo’s cages? Carrie didn’t know and she didn’t want to take the chance.

“Is something wrong?” Duane asked, looking over his shoulder in the direction Carrie had been looking.

She jerked her head, redirecting her gaze back to him. “No, no, not at all. What were you saying? Emus are the second tallest bird in the world? That’s very interesting.”

As surreptitiously as she could, Carrie flicked her hand at Flux, trying to make him move out of sight. Flux either misunderstood her gesture or understood it very well and wanted to annoy her, because he waved some more and fluttered from his comparatively hidden spot to the top of the tree, where he was on view to anyone who happened to look up there.

In fact, he was already beginning to attract some attention.

“Look, Mum,” a little girl shouted. “Is that a sugar glider? Or is it a bat?”

“I don’t know, dear,” the woman replied. “Could be a bit of both from the looks of it. I don’t know what it’s doing outside its cage, though. I hope it doesn’t bite.”

It was that precise moment that Flux chose to leap into flight. The little girl screamed and Carrie felt like screaming too, wondering what the exasperating alien was planning on doing next. He was heading directly for her. She cringed. No! No! No!

Yes.

Flux had landed on her head and was doing his usual thing of digging his claws into her scalp. Duane, who was at eye-level with the creature, gaped.

“Uh, well,” Carrie said. “Thanks for everything. Must be going.”

She half-turned from Duane, who finally managed to say, “What the hell’s that?”

“What?” Carrie asked innocently. Then, deciding there was absolutely no way she was going to successfully bluff her way through pretending not to notice she had a large, winged creature sitting on her head, said, “Oh, you mean, this?” She gestured at Flux and rolled her eyes. “He’s, I mean, it’s, er….” Her phone rang. She took it out of her bag. “Excuse me.” She walked a few steps from the astounded zookeeper. “Dave, how’s it going? By which I mean….” She hunched over and pressed her phone against the side of her face. “Flux is sitting on my head and everyone’s watching, including an animal expert. What do I do?”

“How the hell do I know?” Dave asked. “I only wanted to tell you about a cool frog I just saw.”

“A cool frog? I need suggestions, not a zoology lesson.”

“Well, he’s your pet.”

“Huh, some friend you are. He isn’t a pet, and you’re the one who gave him to me in the first place because you’d forgotten to get me a real Christmas present!”

“Yeah, okay,” said Dave. “But you’re on your own for this, Carrie. Sorry. I’m sure you’ll think of something. You usually do.” He closed the call.

Resisting the urge to do to her phone what she wanted to do to Dave, Carrie shoved the device in her bag and turned to face Duane, smiling sweetly. “That was a friend of mine. He’s just seen a very interesting frog. Anyway, as I was saying, I really must head off now.”

“Hey,” said a high-pitched voice. Carrie felt a tug on her t-shirt. The little girl who had spotted Flux earlier had snuck over while Carrie wasn’t looking. “Is that your animal? What is it?”

“Goodness,” Carrie said, gritting her teeth as she grinned. “So much interest in this boring old pet of mine—Ow!” Flux had dug his claws deeper. “I mean, this lovely animal who happens to be sitting on my head. Actually, he’s a…a….” Duane had narrowed his eyes at Flux, who had begun to groom his belly fur. Carrie desperately tried to think of an animal name that sounded convincing. It had to sound Australian, or Duane would worry that Flux was a foreign invasive species, and yet it also had to be convincingly obscure. “A fairdinkumosaurus.”

“A what?” the little girl exclaimed. She clapped a hand to her mouth and giggled. “That’s the stupidest name I ever heard.”

Carrie was outraged. She’d tried her best after all. “I happen to think it’s a very good name!”

Duane was scratching his devastatingly lovely stubble. “I can’t say I’ve heard of it. Is it an endemic species? What’s their habitat? Looks like a rainforest animal.” He walked towards Carrie.

Perhaps fearing he was going to be messed with, Flux took off and flew back to the treetop. Relief flooded through Carrie. Somehow, the fact that the alien was no longer directly in contact with her made him less of a problem. “Oh look, there he goes. He’ll probably meet me back at the hotel. He’s a homing species.”

“But you said you were a tourist,” Duane said. “How come you brought your pet with you?”

“Oh, yes, that’s right. I only just bought him.”

Duane frowned. “You know it’s illegal to trade in native species, right? Especially rare ones.”

“Did I say I bought? That isn’t what I meant. That would be terrible! No, no. What I meant to say is, he took a liking to me. Just flew out of a, a gum tree one day and decided he wanted to be my friend. Honestly, I can’t get rid of him. So annoying.”

Duane was looking entirely unconvinced. “That’s sounds…lucky. But you were saying you had to go. Don’t let me keep you hanging around.”

Carrie could hardly believe she’d escaped so easily. “That’s right I do.” Yet now the danger was apparently over, she was reluctant to part ways with Delicious Duane. She hesitated, trying to think of a credible excuse to remain.

To her utter surprise, Duane seemed to be experiencing the same sense of disappointment at their impending parting, for he said, “If you aren’t too busy, maybe you could meet me when I finish my shift. I could show you around a bit if you’re new to Melbourne. We could go to the beach.”

“That sounds fantastic,” said Carrie. All she had to do was to find the alien or aliens and send them to the Transgalactic Council, who would deal with them however they saw fit. Then she would be free to meet up with Duane. This Christmas alien invasion was turning out to be the best yet.

Part two here.